What's that smell?

I think each and every one of us at some point in our lives has asked themselves "what the hell is that smell?" when in the company of a future member of the Nana Corps. It's a universal funk that no one has ever been able to pinpoint. Mothballs? I don't think they even sell those anymore. A perfume they've owned since they were a teenager? Surely not. Bad hygiene due to decreased mobility? You could say that. But you could also say that most old folk have stair lifts and baths with doors in them nowadays, so I would personally call it laziness, but whatevs.

You wanna know the answer folks?

Well the tops notes consist of a lovely blend of forgetfulness, weakness, sadness, lonliness, nostalgia, ambivelence, detachment, bereavement and disappointment.

The middle notes ofcourse consist of old folks homes, hospitals, funeral homes, Goodwill, The Salvation Army and pretty much any place else that is boring as hell to be in.

And finally the base notes, which reek of slowly decaying flesh. And pee. And a bit of poop. Basically, they smell like death.

But y'know what the scariest thing is? Some scientists in America have proved that old woman smell actually puts you in a good mood*. So when you're least expecting it, they strike like the geriatric ninja assassins that they are.

*BBC News (1999) ' Elderly Armpits Can Lift Your Spirits', Available: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/382167.stm